• thiskindagirl

Is Swinging Safe? My ultimate guide for safe sexy scenarios

Updated: Jun 11

Is swinging safe?

This article looks at the health concerns surrounding swinging and what can be done to minimize the risks involved. Think of it as a sexy risk assessment! For advice on mental health and swinging, please check out my other post, Swinging and Mental Health. Both are equally important, but this particular post is all about physical risks and how to stay safe. After deciding that you want to indulge in a little swinging, the second and most important step before any clothes come off is to figure out how to do it safely. Due to the nature of the ‘activity’ prior, frank discussion is key. Open and honest conversation is what thiskindagirl.com is all about! So what are the risks involved and how can we minimize them?

Protecting against STIs and STDs when swinging

We are all familiar with what sexual diseases are and understand the importance of using condoms to prevent the spread of them, but what if the STDs/ STIs are external; for example, crabs, herpes and genital warts?

Herpes can enter the body through the moist skin of the mouth, penis, vagina and rectum. It causes blisters that can be present on the mouth ( cold sores) or inner thighs as well as internally in the vagina and around the penis and rectum. Herpes is unsightly and painful but luckily, easily treatable. Unfortunately, once you have contracted it, you will be a carrier, but flare-ups are less aggressive as the initial infection. Sometimes herpes doesn’t always form blisters, so it can be hard to spot, in which case condoms are the best means of protection. If you physically see the blisters on a persons skin, then they are probably best avoided altogether.

What about crabs? How can I prevent myself from catching these? Now, condoms won't protect you here, but its important to remember that being vigilant as to who you are playing with really should be key here. I'm not saying that you perform an inspection, but if you notice any of the following, politely pass;

· irritated skin caused by scratching

· specks of blood on the skin

· blue specks on the skin

· black powder in the underwear ( crab poo)

· also, you might see the actual crabs and their eggs- they look like tiny brown specks.

Luckily, crabs are easily treated by over the counter medicine purchased at the chemist. Plus, its worth remembering that crabs are not unique to the pubic area and can easily be transferred from armpit hair and other body hair areas, and can also be caught easily from overcrowded public transport, sharing towels, bedding and clothing.

How do I protect myself when swinging?

Before we start talking about genital warts, it's really important to get clued up about what causes them. In most cases, genital warts are caused HPV types 6 and 11, these types do not cause cancer of the cervix, vulva, anus or penis. However, HPV types 16 and 18 can cause cell changes that may lead to cancer. Genital warts are small fleshy growths, bumps and clusters that may appear anywhere from the genitals, to the anus and the upper thighs. During sex, genital warts are passed on;

· when someone's skin touches other persons warts- which you may not see if the wart is internal.

· through genital contact

· Sharing sex toys

· Rarely, through oral sex

So how can you protect yourself against genital warts? The best way is by using condoms, especially as warts can be internal. And if you do find them present, avoid touching them. Sometimes covering them with a condom before partaking in sex acts is a good practice.

Loads of really great in-depth, practical advice can be found on the Terrence Higgins trust website. This will give you the low down on all the nasties that can be spread through sexual activity and intimate contact. Check them out!

Condoms are essential when swinging

So condoms are key! Especially for diseases that are spread by exchanging bodily fluids. They should be worn for oral sex, vaginal and anal sex. If you are wanting to perform oral sex on a woman, or any other kind of non-penis oral sex- who doesn’t enjoy a bit of rimming? You want to remain as safe as possible, then a dental dam, is the way forward. Google it, its a thing. Alternatively, open a condom, snip off the closed end, so you have a rectangle and use this as a guard. This may take a little pre-planning, but if your prepared, it doesn’t have to to put a halt to proceedings.

Always, always buy plenty of condoms, before you attend a party or have any kind of meeting. Firstly, you will look organised, safety-conscious and considerate and secondly, you will definitely need more than you planned. I would recommend, for a swingers party, taking roughly 10 condoms. You don't want to be economizing on condoms or dipping your dick into multiple people without changing them. Plus they are delicate little things, any tears, or rips need to be addressed immediately. Plus, having plenty means the people you are playing with have no excuse not to wear them.

How can I stay safe at a swingers party?

Well, I know it sounds kinda obvious but you don’t want to have any open cuts, sores or blisters on your body, especially your hands. You may think this strange to mention, but any opening or break in the skin is a potential way for body fluid to be transferred. Plus, if you see anything suspicious on a person's hands/ body then again, they are probably best politely avoided.

Having regular STD and STI checks for both participants ( if you're in a couple) is one of the safest and most conscientious things you could do. I have check-ups at my local sexual health clinic and because I live in London I have access to an online test ordering service via the NHS. This service is great and gives the results via a text or email in a week to 10 days. If something is detected then the earlier it is discovered, the easier it is to treat. This service is great to use if you haven't got any symptoms, but just want to double-check. Also its free, convenient and 100% confidential. You fill out a short questionnaire, take a swab from your vagina or penis and provide a small blood sample for HIV testing. It's then posted back to the lab discreetly. Happy days. The website can be found here shl.uk Getting tested regularly is just good practice. Make it part of your sexy lifestyle.

Is it safe to drink alcohol at a swingers party?

Most clubs I have attended, have some kind of alcohol element. Either internal bars that you purchase your drinks from or a bring your own booze policy. Also, when attending private parties, most people bring a bottle of something as per a usual social gathering or dinner party. So booze is the norm, it allows the conversation to flow little more fluidly and creates a relaxed vibe. However, it should be consumed with caution, as it also can cause reckless behaviour and low sex drive. Not cool! I recommend that if you want to have a drink but also remain safe and in control, pace yourself with a soft drink in between each glass of alcohol. Plus we all know that alcohol dehydrates you and if you're having a good, long night of sex, chances are you might be in need of some refreshment afterwards. Another good tip is to add lots of ice to drinks ( not everyone's cup of tea) but it really helps to avoid you getting a banging headache at 1 am when you're in the middle of something saucy! So, my advice is pace yourself, get tipsy, but that is all. Many clubs have strict guidelines in relation to the consumption of alcohol and the staff continuously monitor how drunk people are getting. Of course, they want you to have a great, relaxed time, but drunken behaviour puts yourself and others at serious risk. If they think you are too drunk, you will be thrown out. Remember, any decent club or event will have great security staff, who are continuously monitoring the safety of all the guests.

Sometimes, after the party, a few drinks at home with your partner is a lovely way to unwind, especially if you do it on a summers night, in the garden as the sun comes up. Save your proper drinking for then, that’s my advice!

Do people take drugs at swingers parties?

I'd like to say no, but again, I'm sure they do. Plus, smoking drugs like cannabis, is considered to be quite normal when going for a night out/ attending a party in today's world. I live and work in central London, where drug use, alcohol and casual sex are all part and parcel of life. However, when you have taken drugs such as MDMA or ecstasy, the results are pretty visible, so if your chewing your face off, surrounded by people who are not, your going to get thrown out. Again, any decent club or event will check everyone's personal belongings on entry to the club. Its worth noting that these checks are there for your safety as drink spiking, although rare, could potentially happen, especially if a bring your own drinks policy is in place ( harder to monitor whos is whos). Don’t be the twat who gets thrown out for doing coke in the toilets or trying to spike some poor sods glass of pinot. Most clubs and events are members only, once you get thrown out, you won't be allowed to rejoin.

Are swingers clubs safe?

When discussing safety and swinging, it is imperative to talk about personal safety. You have to be 100% comfortable, confident and safe in any situation. This applies to men and women, and you may be surprised to learn that situations have arisen over the years where the man can sometimes get unwanted pressure from other men. If you're attending as part of a couple, it is essential you discuss what's hot and what's not beforehand! If a situation presents itself where you find unwanted behaviour being directed towards you, report it to the security, don’t take matters into your own hands as this will lead to you all being thrown out, not just the perpetrator. Trust me, I've seen this and any kind of altercations are not tolerated, regardless of who did what and when.

If you are chatting with some great people at a party or event, be upfront about what's acceptable and what's not. Be friendly and polite, being honest with others is the only way to avoid feeling pressure or doing things that you don’t particularly enjoy. Remember, swinging is something that requires respect and consideration. If someone says no, then respect it. We all have our own ideas as to what makes sex great, part of the joy of swinging is discovering new ways to get intimate, but always remember that even though you're all in the same setting, individual rules and limits apply.

Is it safe to meet swingers in private?

Some parties and meets I've been to have been private events in homes or rented apartments. Of course, the same precautions should always be undertaken, such as condoms and if your using it, birth control. Chances are if it’s a smaller group then you may be on first name terms, or at least be friendly with one or two people there. These things are sometimes arranged online through groups or swingers websites and usually, a great deal of chatting is done first to build rapport and gain some knowledge into what the guests attending like and dislike. This is usually initiated by the people hosting the event ( usually an experienced couple) to ensure that it’s a positive and memorable experience for all. Verbalizing your limits and desires is key, your all there for the same thing so get what you want out of it. If you just wanna watch, say so, if your only comfortable with oral, say so, if you wanna get spit-roasted, say so, the private parties I've been to have been positive and relaxed experiences. The same cautious approach should be applied to drink and drugs. In a private setting, people are more likely to consume larger quantities, so be aware of how much you are drinking and don’t feel pressured to partake in anything you feel uncomfortable with.

I hope you have enjoyed reading this post as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Please do get in touch if you have any questions, queries or just fancy a little flirt!

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